African loud and proud!!!

Iv been gone again for a while AGAIN, sorry readers, time is tight, if anyone wants to be recruited as a typist to type out as I speak, holla at me...

So its a Friday and im getting on with my daily tasks u knw working working and some more working... Ok I get sent to the bank on a daily top secret mission (cant tell u guys wt it is coz I dnt knw who's a robber) anyway I get to the bank and join the long and tedious queue. Theirs a somalian lady, ninja'd out wearing thick white tennis socks and mens sandals like they do, a white man sunburnt like he jus got back from majorca or benidorm as they do and an african man with his son that's where it gets interestin, ok I'm bored as well coz theirs nothing to even look at in Barclays bank so I'm just watching the man, his son who I soon learnt his name was To-mas, Thomas to you and me but obviously not for de dry handed, footed, elbows, face, well lemme just say he looked like he if you said body cream to him he would say "yes I like her music's"... on dat note I'm african and everythin, love it an all but why do all my aunties n uncles and my mates aunties and uncles call men SHE and women HE, I once bravely pull'd up my aunt on it and she was like "ah ah (as they always do) because u have a degree and PHD and all D rest (which I don't) u think u can correct me?!? U are mad, I have been in dis country 20yrs and I let me tell u something, its all de same". I thought okkkk, should I say thanks coz she taught me something or should I say sorry because I'm so dumb to even question her ability to speak the queens english or just keep quiet to indicate that iv taken in wat she's said, well I was baffld and opted for the silence which was a bad option coz I got hotted for 10 mins about kids of today and all we do is "parrty parrty parrty". Note: Neva correct an african adult, I also made the mistake once of correcting my mum on a late arrival when she said "Y are u late?" Well I don't know if I'm slow or what but that's a question right?!? I go to explain and she says the classic african phrase "I'm talking, ur talking, how many talkers?" Using my mathematical skills and once again assuming its a question, I answered 2, let's just say after that day my approach to maths changed, hence my later failure in maths GCSE...

Anywaysss back to the scene at the bank so uncle is tryin to keep Tom-as under control, at first he's givin him "The look" the (Ehhhhh ehh eh, so you want to emba-rass me?!? OK wen we get home, U WIL SEE) look. But Tom-as is not havin a bar of it, he's thinking all these white people, he can never touch me, hahahahaha, so he starts off coyly playing with the leaflets, then running into people then climbing on the mortgage advisors table, the last straw is when he takes another child's drink (its all ova!) his dad drags him and says " Soooo we don't feed you at home? Dats why you are stealing like a thief" (Another questionable sentence). Thomas is like 3 so I dnt think he quite understands so he goes on to say "Daddy I'm hungry" Coinsidentaly his dad is holding a Friends lunchbox, no not Forever friends, Friends the American sitcom, I dnt know if its his or Thomas's??? africans ohhh africans, uv gotta love em! I understand from my mum for a child that a lunchbox is a lunchbox even if it had a picture of Osama Bin Laden, its got a picture like all the other childrens. OK so iv just got over the comedy at the lunchbox then his dad pops it open and inside (no lie) was a small see through foodbag with GARI another small foodbag with milk and another foodbag with water (to all the africans, does this bring back memories of africa where ice-water is served in a nylon bag n u pop a hole in it n drink? It sure does for me) also he had probably as a treat was another bag of crackers, no cheese, no butter, just crackers (swear that's a prison dish crackers n water coz I know the milk is for the gari)... Soooo he gives To-mas the crackers which he wolfes down like he missed breakfast, and dinner,lunch and breakfast on the previous day. He's chokin! The crackers are as dry as his dads foot, so wat does his dad do africa style pops open the water bag and Tom-as drinks like a pro, no spills, no mess, he's a pro at drinking from a bag! To me that's slyly worrying but it must be common practice coz that man can't be the only one in the uk, so on that iv gotta say to all our little traits and behaviours and phrases and captions, I'm african and proud all day every day!!!