African loud and proud!!!

Iv been gone again for a while AGAIN, sorry readers, time is tight, if anyone wants to be recruited as a typist to type out as I speak, holla at me...

So its a Friday and im getting on with my daily tasks u knw working working and some more working... Ok I get sent to the bank on a daily top secret mission (cant tell u guys wt it is coz I dnt knw who's a robber) anyway I get to the bank and join the long and tedious queue. Theirs a somalian lady, ninja'd out wearing thick white tennis socks and mens sandals like they do, a white man sunburnt like he jus got back from majorca or benidorm as they do and an african man with his son that's where it gets interestin, ok I'm bored as well coz theirs nothing to even look at in Barclays bank so I'm just watching the man, his son who I soon learnt his name was To-mas, Thomas to you and me but obviously not for de dry handed, footed, elbows, face, well lemme just say he looked like he if you said body cream to him he would say "yes I like her music's"... on dat note I'm african and everythin, love it an all but why do all my aunties n uncles and my mates aunties and uncles call men SHE and women HE, I once bravely pull'd up my aunt on it and she was like "ah ah (as they always do) because u have a degree and PHD and all D rest (which I don't) u think u can correct me?!? U are mad, I have been in dis country 20yrs and I let me tell u something, its all de same". I thought okkkk, should I say thanks coz she taught me something or should I say sorry because I'm so dumb to even question her ability to speak the queens english or just keep quiet to indicate that iv taken in wat she's said, well I was baffld and opted for the silence which was a bad option coz I got hotted for 10 mins about kids of today and all we do is "parrty parrty parrty". Note: Neva correct an african adult, I also made the mistake once of correcting my mum on a late arrival when she said "Y are u late?" Well I don't know if I'm slow or what but that's a question right?!? I go to explain and she says the classic african phrase "I'm talking, ur talking, how many talkers?" Using my mathematical skills and once again assuming its a question, I answered 2, let's just say after that day my approach to maths changed, hence my later failure in maths GCSE...

Anywaysss back to the scene at the bank so uncle is tryin to keep Tom-as under control, at first he's givin him "The look" the (Ehhhhh ehh eh, so you want to emba-rass me?!? OK wen we get home, U WIL SEE) look. But Tom-as is not havin a bar of it, he's thinking all these white people, he can never touch me, hahahahaha, so he starts off coyly playing with the leaflets, then running into people then climbing on the mortgage advisors table, the last straw is when he takes another child's drink (its all ova!) his dad drags him and says " Soooo we don't feed you at home? Dats why you are stealing like a thief" (Another questionable sentence). Thomas is like 3 so I dnt think he quite understands so he goes on to say "Daddy I'm hungry" Coinsidentaly his dad is holding a Friends lunchbox, no not Forever friends, Friends the American sitcom, I dnt know if its his or Thomas's??? africans ohhh africans, uv gotta love em! I understand from my mum for a child that a lunchbox is a lunchbox even if it had a picture of Osama Bin Laden, its got a picture like all the other childrens. OK so iv just got over the comedy at the lunchbox then his dad pops it open and inside (no lie) was a small see through foodbag with GARI another small foodbag with milk and another foodbag with water (to all the africans, does this bring back memories of africa where ice-water is served in a nylon bag n u pop a hole in it n drink? It sure does for me) also he had probably as a treat was another bag of crackers, no cheese, no butter, just crackers (swear that's a prison dish crackers n water coz I know the milk is for the gari)... Soooo he gives To-mas the crackers which he wolfes down like he missed breakfast, and dinner,lunch and breakfast on the previous day. He's chokin! The crackers are as dry as his dads foot, so wat does his dad do africa style pops open the water bag and Tom-as drinks like a pro, no spills, no mess, he's a pro at drinking from a bag! To me that's slyly worrying but it must be common practice coz that man can't be the only one in the uk, so on that iv gotta say to all our little traits and behaviours and phrases and captions, I'm african and proud all day every day!!!

IM BACK!

Iv been away for a minute but now im back on the scene... This is just a quick blog to get me and u back into the swing of things. (Warning! sum parts of this blog wil b written in Lavinia style shorthand, bcoz "I dnt got time")

Ok, so iv been slightly busy for de last few weeks and the bloggin experience has been neglected, I would luv to blog on my fone while on de bus or train (shout out to Mr Tayo Lewiboro) but I dont take either, i drive evrywhere and im sure drivin and bloggin wud nt be cool especially bcoz I am nt licenced to even be on de roads iv gotta keep it moving and attract minimal attention, no speeding or weaving in and out of lanes, no cutting up people bcoz it cud really be an undercover cop in an unmarked car (I let evryone go, u cud call me some what of a dickhead on de roads) no loud music, furthermore I dnt even hav a CD player, straight tape player (for those dats been dissin me, its better to be safe than sorry).

So theirs been alot of experiences for me ova the last couple of weeks even situations where other people hav said "u shud talk about this in ur blog" iv been dying to blog so im gona touch up on a few... Here we go!

Ok the main issue rigght now is the subject of "Slipping" a word used in compromising situations where someone is exposed and laid bare bcoz of their inability to keep control of a situation.

Ok without mentioning anyones names or telling anyones stories on here we will just look at a few points of what is slipping...

• Is it when you chirpe, start talking to or link someone and then the next day u log onto facebook.com and ur ex is one of their mutual friends or all up in their pictures.


• Is it when your fone rings u look at the screen and u put the fone back in ur pocket and the person calling is standing across de road looking at u.


• Is it when you call someone thinking your fone is set to "hide my number" and its not and they ring back and u feel like throwing ur fone in the canal.


• Is it when the person your dating/seeing/linking asks u disclose your relationship status on facebook.com as in a relationship with or married to them and u do it to avoid beef but ur other links are also your friends on facebook.com and they are notified.


• Is it when you tell someone your somewhere else then they see your motor parked on the side of the road in a completely different area with you inside... with a female (hold tite Mr O.G)


• Is it when your drunk and a friend of a friends cousins sister takes pictures of and posts them on facebook.com

Slipping is all of these and alot more and the reason for this excercise was to establish facebook.com is slippery! Facebook has evolved and is a place to gain information and reveal revelations , how can someone say "nah trust me I saw it on facebook" and with that statement the argument ends. Alot can be revealed on facebook.com, just by browsing someones page u can get a feel of what type of person they, what they do, who their friends are, where they live, who their dating, guys open your eyes, your profile is not your profile, its the worlds profile...

From one hot spot to another hot spot... Bagel King Walworth rd, no not Bagel bite, west ldn dts like 2sq metres big, not Mr Bagel, east ldn... Bagel King, wooly rd, with its promotional walls and its selection of cuisine I have to stay true and have passion for this food joint (for very few) but mainly a rave after the rave without the music and the lights on. How can girls re-apply their make up and guys re-brush their hair to go into Bagel King. Its only by the name that some people would know what they sell, how can I see a girl look like she's queing, purse in hand, lipgloss stil popping at 5am, for a good 20mins to get to the front and say to the guy "can I have a spoon please?". I have also heard someone say "yeah bruv she looked aight in the club, I just need to look properly at Bagel". Lets not lie to ourselves this food joint is not really a food joint its simply the rave after the rave...