Iv been gone again for a while AGAIN, sorry readers, time is tight, if anyone wants to be recruited as a typist to type out as I speak, holla at me...
So its a Friday and im getting on with my daily tasks u knw working working and some more working... Ok I get sent to the bank on a daily top secret mission (cant tell u guys wt it is coz I dnt knw who's a robber) anyway I get to the bank and join the long and tedious queue. Theirs a somalian lady, ninja'd out wearing thick white tennis socks and mens sandals like they do, a white man sunburnt like he jus got back from majorca or benidorm as they do and an african man with his son that's where it gets interestin, ok I'm bored as well coz theirs nothing to even look at in Barclays bank so I'm just watching the man, his son who I soon learnt his name was To-mas, Thomas to you and me but obviously not for de dry handed, footed, elbows, face, well lemme just say he looked like he if you said body cream to him he would say "yes I like her music's"... on dat note I'm african and everythin, love it an all but why do all my aunties n uncles and my mates aunties and uncles call men SHE and women HE, I once bravely pull'd up my aunt on it and she was like "ah ah (as they always do) because u have a degree and PHD and all D rest (which I don't) u think u can correct me?!? U are mad, I have been in dis country 20yrs and I let me tell u something, its all de same". I thought okkkk, should I say thanks coz she taught me something or should I say sorry because I'm so dumb to even question her ability to speak the queens english or just keep quiet to indicate that iv taken in wat she's said, well I was baffld and opted for the silence which was a bad option coz I got hotted for 10 mins about kids of today and all we do is "parrty parrty parrty". Note: Neva correct an african adult, I also made the mistake once of correcting my mum on a late arrival when she said "Y are u late?" Well I don't know if I'm slow or what but that's a question right?!? I go to explain and she says the classic african phrase "I'm talking, ur talking, how many talkers?" Using my mathematical skills and once again assuming its a question, I answered 2, let's just say after that day my approach to maths changed, hence my later failure in maths GCSE...
Anywaysss back to the scene at the bank so uncle is tryin to keep Tom-as under control, at first he's givin him "The look" the (Ehhhhh ehh eh, so you want to emba-rass me?!? OK wen we get home, U WIL SEE) look. But Tom-as is not havin a bar of it, he's thinking all these white people, he can never touch me, hahahahaha, so he starts off coyly playing with the leaflets, then running into people then climbing on the mortgage advisors table, the last straw is when he takes another child's drink (its all ova!) his dad drags him and says " Soooo we don't feed you at home? Dats why you are stealing like a thief" (Another questionable sentence). Thomas is like 3 so I dnt think he quite understands so he goes on to say "Daddy I'm hungry" Coinsidentaly his dad is holding a Friends lunchbox, no not Forever friends, Friends the American sitcom, I dnt know if its his or Thomas's??? africans ohhh africans, uv gotta love em! I understand from my mum for a child that a lunchbox is a lunchbox even if it had a picture of Osama Bin Laden, its got a picture like all the other childrens. OK so iv just got over the comedy at the lunchbox then his dad pops it open and inside (no lie) was a small see through foodbag with GARI another small foodbag with milk and another foodbag with water (to all the africans, does this bring back memories of africa where ice-water is served in a nylon bag n u pop a hole in it n drink? It sure does for me) also he had probably as a treat was another bag of crackers, no cheese, no butter, just crackers (swear that's a prison dish crackers n water coz I know the milk is for the gari)... Soooo he gives To-mas the crackers which he wolfes down like he missed breakfast, and dinner,lunch and breakfast on the previous day. He's chokin! The crackers are as dry as his dads foot, so wat does his dad do africa style pops open the water bag and Tom-as drinks like a pro, no spills, no mess, he's a pro at drinking from a bag! To me that's slyly worrying but it must be common practice coz that man can't be the only one in the uk, so on that iv gotta say to all our little traits and behaviours and phrases and captions, I'm african and proud all day every day!!!
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
IM BACK!
Iv been away for a minute but now im back on the scene... This is just a quick blog to get me and u back into the swing of things. (Warning! sum parts of this blog wil b written in Lavinia style shorthand, bcoz "I dnt got time")
Ok, so iv been slightly busy for de last few weeks and the bloggin experience has been neglected, I would luv to blog on my fone while on de bus or train (shout out to Mr Tayo Lewiboro) but I dont take either, i drive evrywhere and im sure drivin and bloggin wud nt be cool especially bcoz I am nt licenced to even be on de roads iv gotta keep it moving and attract minimal attention, no speeding or weaving in and out of lanes, no cutting up people bcoz it cud really be an undercover cop in an unmarked car (I let evryone go, u cud call me some what of a dickhead on de roads) no loud music, furthermore I dnt even hav a CD player, straight tape player (for those dats been dissin me, its better to be safe than sorry).
So theirs been alot of experiences for me ova the last couple of weeks even situations where other people hav said "u shud talk about this in ur blog" iv been dying to blog so im gona touch up on a few... Here we go!
Ok the main issue rigght now is the subject of "Slipping" a word used in compromising situations where someone is exposed and laid bare bcoz of their inability to keep control of a situation.
Ok without mentioning anyones names or telling anyones stories on here we will just look at a few points of what is slipping...
Ok, so iv been slightly busy for de last few weeks and the bloggin experience has been neglected, I would luv to blog on my fone while on de bus or train (shout out to Mr Tayo Lewiboro) but I dont take either, i drive evrywhere and im sure drivin and bloggin wud nt be cool especially bcoz I am nt licenced to even be on de roads iv gotta keep it moving and attract minimal attention, no speeding or weaving in and out of lanes, no cutting up people bcoz it cud really be an undercover cop in an unmarked car (I let evryone go, u cud call me some what of a dickhead on de roads) no loud music, furthermore I dnt even hav a CD player, straight tape player (for those dats been dissin me, its better to be safe than sorry).
So theirs been alot of experiences for me ova the last couple of weeks even situations where other people hav said "u shud talk about this in ur blog" iv been dying to blog so im gona touch up on a few... Here we go!
Ok the main issue rigght now is the subject of "Slipping" a word used in compromising situations where someone is exposed and laid bare bcoz of their inability to keep control of a situation.
Ok without mentioning anyones names or telling anyones stories on here we will just look at a few points of what is slipping...
- Is it when you chirpe, start talking to or link someone and then the next day u log onto facebook.com and ur ex is one of their mutual friends or all up in their pictures.
- Is it when your fone rings u look at the screen and u put the fone back in ur pocket and the person calling is standing across de road looking at u.
- Is it when you call someone thinking your fone is set to "hide my number" and its not and they ring back and u feel like throwing ur fone in the canal.
- Is it when the person your dating/seeing/linking asks u disclose your relationship status on facebook.com as in a relationship with or married to them and u do it to avoid beef but ur other links are also your friends on facebook.com and they are notified.
- Is it when you tell someone your somewhere else then they see your motor parked on the side of the road in a completely different area with you inside... with a female (hold tite Mr O.G)
- Is it when your drunk and a friend of a friends cousins sister takes pictures of and posts them on facebook.com
Slipping is all of these and alot more and the reason for this excercise was to establish facebook.com is slippery! Facebook has evolved and is a place to gain information and reveal revelations , how can someone say "nah trust me I saw it on facebook" and with that statement the argument ends. Alot can be revealed on facebook.com, just by browsing someones page u can get a feel of what type of person they, what they do, who their friends are, where they live, who their dating, guys open your eyes, your profile is not your profile, its the worlds profile...
From one hot spot to another hot spot... Bagel King Walworth rd, no not Bagel bite, west ldn dts like 2sq metres big, not Mr Bagel, east ldn... Bagel King, wooly rd, with its promotional walls and its selection of cuisine I have to stay true and have passion for this food joint (for very few) but mainly a rave after the rave without the music and the lights on. How can girls re-apply their make up and guys re-brush their hair to go into Bagel King. Its only by the name that some people would know what they sell, how can I see a girl look like she's queing, purse in hand, lipgloss stil popping at 5am, for a good 20mins to get to the front and say to the guy "can I have a spoon please?". I have also heard someone say "yeah bruv she looked aight in the club, I just need to look properly at Bagel". Lets not lie to ourselves this food joint is not really a food joint its simply the rave after the rave...
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Not that im a style guru or the coolest but Fashion and Trend hang-ups
OK, iv just come back in from work and the first thing I do are my rituals, switch on the T.V, switch on my mini heater (on a hot day my fan) then switch on my computer, press connect and www.facebook.com here we go! I scroll through, doing the usaul's accepting friend request n declining invitations then decide to browse my "friends" photos,with no names mentioned I feel I need to express my feelings of shock, confusion, and utter cringe...
I firstly visited the page of a lady, huge in size n face like a smackd ass, rude thats the only description if any that I can conclude, her pics include snap shots of her "bootylicious bod" and the embrace of her assets, personally I think that stuff should be kept for the hungry fresh out of prison, roasting for anything on legs guys. But on the other hand good on you gal, show what your mama gave you.
Then I visited another young ladys page where with 20 albums and about 6,0000 of the infamous two fingers up peace signs I soon got bored, not being funny but the peace sign in photos is NOW seriously out of date, you might find the occasional one or two when people are highly intoxiated and oblivious of the washed out position of the insignificant sign but not in September 2008 at the beginning of the album when you are getting dressed for the outing, in the car on the way to the venue, in the queue, while you are paying, at the bar, in the toilets....GOSH! get with the times guys jus hold each others hands or something, hug, do the Tupac or even the Jay z sign.
On the subject of outings from my return from Cyprus, Ayia napa im kinda baffled on what happened when we were away, its either the credit crunch or the police had an amnesty of all fashionable clothing, make-up, drug raids and closures of all barbers and hairdressers coz everyone seems to be looking very cheeky.
To start off with, at our most recent outing to Fuego's we were met by a mob of people which looked like the queue at mixed blessing on easter sunday but soon learned it was the queue fo the club. Their were many girls wearing dresses from the kind of material that you would have to purchase a tube of sensodyne at the same time because it surely would make your teeth hurt, shoes like an african man with the extra 5 inches after the end of the toe, and also sexy dresses and tights with ladders and holes in them, maybe for fashion but I beg to differ (tights are like 10 for a £1 in primarni, no excuse) and hair like all the hairdressers in London and surrounding cities are on strike. I mean its easy for a girl to look nice just slap on some MAC, a little lipgloss, mascara, weave to cover your face if its not your best asset and Bob's your dad...
And the mans dems you guys, you guys, come onnn you lot are slipping, since when was it alright to go raving without getting a hair cut, i remember back in the day when you would ask a guy (me) "What you on tomo?" (Tim) "Gettin my haircut" (me) "Wat all day???" (Tim) "Yeah". I soon find out the queue for Tunde's n the one next to Edwards bike shop is murder. Those days (I know because I have brothers) if a guy did not make it in time for any particular reason for their hair cut the day would be cancelled, no raving, no answering of phone calls from girls, no opening of curtains, no stepping out of the door basically. Another reason iv just found out from my mate Hilary is as Britain gets more diverse and culture and religion is excercised by males, especially the religion of Islam, Ramadan is in play at the moment and as part of it they can not get their hair cut until the end of the month. (This is excusable only til October). Nowadays everything goes, guys come from football practice straight to the rave, wearing their training clothes and all, no shower, no deodarant, no aftershave, not even the old smoothing of hair with theis sisters Dax and Jam gel filled hair brush.
The only thing these days that seems compulsory is shoes, someone has asked me "Yeah iv got my shoes but can I wear tracksuit bottoms though?" (cheeky)
And now to the ultimate piss taker, slap in de face, fashion crime- The waistcoat- at first it was cool, nice, trendy, smart then it was abit out of date but tolerable now its getting ridicoulous coz some people are wearing their dad's from his wedding day or their sisters from Topshop, anything goes really as long as it lays on top of their shirt they look "cool", statistics show around 80% of the male attendants at Fuego's were wearing a waistcoat.
I still think guys look good in waistcoats but their are just the few that have tarnished the name and killed it for all you guys. Try another trend, maybe a tie on a tshirt, socks and sandals, even tracksuitbottoms and belt, anything just please take the waistcoat AWAY...
I firstly visited the page of a lady, huge in size n face like a smackd ass, rude thats the only description if any that I can conclude, her pics include snap shots of her "bootylicious bod" and the embrace of her assets, personally I think that stuff should be kept for the hungry fresh out of prison, roasting for anything on legs guys. But on the other hand good on you gal, show what your mama gave you.
Then I visited another young ladys page where with 20 albums and about 6,0000 of the infamous two fingers up peace signs I soon got bored, not being funny but the peace sign in photos is NOW seriously out of date, you might find the occasional one or two when people are highly intoxiated and oblivious of the washed out position of the insignificant sign but not in September 2008 at the beginning of the album when you are getting dressed for the outing, in the car on the way to the venue, in the queue, while you are paying, at the bar, in the toilets....GOSH! get with the times guys jus hold each others hands or something, hug, do the Tupac or even the Jay z sign.
On the subject of outings from my return from Cyprus, Ayia napa im kinda baffled on what happened when we were away, its either the credit crunch or the police had an amnesty of all fashionable clothing, make-up, drug raids and closures of all barbers and hairdressers coz everyone seems to be looking very cheeky.
To start off with, at our most recent outing to Fuego's we were met by a mob of people which looked like the queue at mixed blessing on easter sunday but soon learned it was the queue fo the club. Their were many girls wearing dresses from the kind of material that you would have to purchase a tube of sensodyne at the same time because it surely would make your teeth hurt, shoes like an african man with the extra 5 inches after the end of the toe, and also sexy dresses and tights with ladders and holes in them, maybe for fashion but I beg to differ (tights are like 10 for a £1 in primarni, no excuse) and hair like all the hairdressers in London and surrounding cities are on strike. I mean its easy for a girl to look nice just slap on some MAC, a little lipgloss, mascara, weave to cover your face if its not your best asset and Bob's your dad...
And the mans dems you guys, you guys, come onnn you lot are slipping, since when was it alright to go raving without getting a hair cut, i remember back in the day when you would ask a guy (me) "What you on tomo?" (Tim) "Gettin my haircut" (me) "Wat all day???" (Tim) "Yeah". I soon find out the queue for Tunde's n the one next to Edwards bike shop is murder. Those days (I know because I have brothers) if a guy did not make it in time for any particular reason for their hair cut the day would be cancelled, no raving, no answering of phone calls from girls, no opening of curtains, no stepping out of the door basically. Another reason iv just found out from my mate Hilary is as Britain gets more diverse and culture and religion is excercised by males, especially the religion of Islam, Ramadan is in play at the moment and as part of it they can not get their hair cut until the end of the month. (This is excusable only til October). Nowadays everything goes, guys come from football practice straight to the rave, wearing their training clothes and all, no shower, no deodarant, no aftershave, not even the old smoothing of hair with theis sisters Dax and Jam gel filled hair brush.
The only thing these days that seems compulsory is shoes, someone has asked me "Yeah iv got my shoes but can I wear tracksuit bottoms though?" (cheeky)
And now to the ultimate piss taker, slap in de face, fashion crime- The waistcoat- at first it was cool, nice, trendy, smart then it was abit out of date but tolerable now its getting ridicoulous coz some people are wearing their dad's from his wedding day or their sisters from Topshop, anything goes really as long as it lays on top of their shirt they look "cool", statistics show around 80% of the male attendants at Fuego's were wearing a waistcoat.
I still think guys look good in waistcoats but their are just the few that have tarnished the name and killed it for all you guys. Try another trend, maybe a tie on a tshirt, socks and sandals, even tracksuitbottoms and belt, anything just please take the waistcoat AWAY...
Monday, 22 September 2008
The beginning of the blogging experience
Well here it starts, a revolutionary thing.....
I woke up this mornin to a BlackBerry messenger message from my friend Tayo with the URL for his blog, I first thought wats this about??? should I really take time to look at this which could possibly be a waste of my sweet and precious time, but then I thought OK lemme take a glipse.... I had a read through and thought this is interestin, abit like a DJ's page promotin raves n stuff at times but the whole concept was interestin, giving an insight of day to day things that I get up to could be a good way of showing people why I behave the way I do and why I have the views that I do about life...
You should know all this if you are my friend but......
Im 21, female, 5'5 from South-east London and a lover of life as much of a struggle and strife it may be. I try to get the most out of life thats y u wud catch me at most of the events taking place, seeming like a party gal or a hype chick, NO im jus living life to the max.
I'll start my blog from talking about today 22nd Sep....
I had an easy morning, woke up nice and late, and lazied around, watchin the usual's Jeremy Kyle, Trisha and Judge Judy. Then a nutricious breakfast of Special K, they say 2bowls a day and lose 2stone in 2weeks, haven't figured out if it only works if you dont eat anything else in between but i feel cheated.
Went to work, Coral Racing, if you are not aware wat this is thats good coz it shows your lack of interest for joints for greedy people, if I have offended any regular visitors to bookies sorry but they are places for either jobless and bored people (I knw this coz they r there all day), caribbean's (I have concluded it's part of their culture because 90% of customers are of caribbean descent) and westernised african's (These guys ALWAYS think they will win and hype you wen they dnt calling you a wizard).
Work was work today like every other day,my start time was 3pm and left I my hse at 2.55 for a 20minute journey to Catford, I kinda expectd to be on time but I obviously was not, I drove past the shop saw Harry sitting at the desk (An asian dude, he's kinda cool but he thinks black people rule de world so he over begs it with me) so I think its 3.30pm, im going Mcdonalds mate, after with minimal knowledge of muu-kuu land Catford I go in the hunt for a parking space with no success I resort to parking 5miles down the road past the train station and all the bus stops, I walk back and im tired after 3 minutes, I think "Jeez I love my motor".
I arrive at the shop sit at my till and think for goodness sake here we go again, a shop full a crazy people, a paralympics coach who repeats his sentence's 6times, a woman with a moustache thicker than Bin Laden's who has clearly no knowledge of the invention of the bra with tits touching her knees and the usual suspects, the caribbeans. Harry changes the T.V from The Hits channel to MTV Base straight away and the road of Harry showing me how much he loves black people and our culture begins, he sings along to Chris Brown and Tpain"Kiss Kiss", for the next 4 hours I start to hate even my favourite songs with the commentary and narration of how much he loves the videos, songs, clothes and in his words "bangin le-dees" (ladies) im guessing. Well I ride it out, its 8pm I look as bored as hell, Harry asks if I wana go home im like "YEAH".
8.15 YES!!! im out 1hr 30 mins before finishing time, one of the many perks of working at Coral Racing including, setting your own long breaks, sitting on your bum for your whole shift, free shop phone, usage of your mobile phone, the ability to call your customers "fucking wankers " with encouragement from management, bottomless tea, coffee and hot chocolate, free stationary and also 4 weeks holiday. As much as I hate the place I love it more.
This blog has been 70% about Coral because as you will gain to know, I literally live there, the only thing I do at home is sleep.
I woke up this mornin to a BlackBerry messenger message from my friend Tayo with the URL for his blog, I first thought wats this about??? should I really take time to look at this which could possibly be a waste of my sweet and precious time, but then I thought OK lemme take a glipse.... I had a read through and thought this is interestin, abit like a DJ's page promotin raves n stuff at times but the whole concept was interestin, giving an insight of day to day things that I get up to could be a good way of showing people why I behave the way I do and why I have the views that I do about life...
You should know all this if you are my friend but......
Im 21, female, 5'5 from South-east London and a lover of life as much of a struggle and strife it may be. I try to get the most out of life thats y u wud catch me at most of the events taking place, seeming like a party gal or a hype chick, NO im jus living life to the max.
I'll start my blog from talking about today 22nd Sep....
I had an easy morning, woke up nice and late, and lazied around, watchin the usual's Jeremy Kyle, Trisha and Judge Judy. Then a nutricious breakfast of Special K, they say 2bowls a day and lose 2stone in 2weeks, haven't figured out if it only works if you dont eat anything else in between but i feel cheated.
Went to work, Coral Racing, if you are not aware wat this is thats good coz it shows your lack of interest for joints for greedy people, if I have offended any regular visitors to bookies sorry but they are places for either jobless and bored people (I knw this coz they r there all day), caribbean's (I have concluded it's part of their culture because 90% of customers are of caribbean descent) and westernised african's (These guys ALWAYS think they will win and hype you wen they dnt calling you a wizard).
Work was work today like every other day,my start time was 3pm and left I my hse at 2.55 for a 20minute journey to Catford, I kinda expectd to be on time but I obviously was not, I drove past the shop saw Harry sitting at the desk (An asian dude, he's kinda cool but he thinks black people rule de world so he over begs it with me) so I think its 3.30pm, im going Mcdonalds mate, after with minimal knowledge of muu-kuu land Catford I go in the hunt for a parking space with no success I resort to parking 5miles down the road past the train station and all the bus stops, I walk back and im tired after 3 minutes, I think "Jeez I love my motor".
I arrive at the shop sit at my till and think for goodness sake here we go again, a shop full a crazy people, a paralympics coach who repeats his sentence's 6times, a woman with a moustache thicker than Bin Laden's who has clearly no knowledge of the invention of the bra with tits touching her knees and the usual suspects, the caribbeans. Harry changes the T.V from The Hits channel to MTV Base straight away and the road of Harry showing me how much he loves black people and our culture begins, he sings along to Chris Brown and Tpain"Kiss Kiss", for the next 4 hours I start to hate even my favourite songs with the commentary and narration of how much he loves the videos, songs, clothes and in his words "bangin le-dees" (ladies) im guessing. Well I ride it out, its 8pm I look as bored as hell, Harry asks if I wana go home im like "YEAH".
8.15 YES!!! im out 1hr 30 mins before finishing time, one of the many perks of working at Coral Racing including, setting your own long breaks, sitting on your bum for your whole shift, free shop phone, usage of your mobile phone, the ability to call your customers "fucking wankers " with encouragement from management, bottomless tea, coffee and hot chocolate, free stationary and also 4 weeks holiday. As much as I hate the place I love it more.
This blog has been 70% about Coral because as you will gain to know, I literally live there, the only thing I do at home is sleep.
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